After a while, it’s normal. After a while, you wouldn’t notice the difference. After a while, everything new, has become routine. It’s time for change. Time for something new. Time for a challenge. I hate this, I hate it to be what I am now. It’s hard to realize that I’m that friend, who no one wants to hang out with. Yea they will, once in a while. But not on a dayly basis. I have those kinda friends to. Those kinda friends you think: oh well I’ll ask someone else before I ask him. I am that kinda friend. To everybody. I don’t want to be that kinda person. What can I change about this, so I won’t feel so lonely. Lonely, all the time. That is the main reason I search so hard for a relationship. For a guy who’ll fit by my side. Who I can hang out with. I’ve got nothing to do, I’m so bored all the time! And I just do not know what to do about it.

Help.

atheistangel:

“first time daddy sees his 3 week old”

What if the hokey pokey really is, what it’s all about?

Have you seen the movie ‘Friends With Benefits’? Is it wrong to do that? Have sex without any expectations from one another. I think that won’t work. Especially when this is more often. Feelings are growing, you feel attached to that person. If that person has someone else, jealousy is not rare. I don’t know if I could do that. I think I’d want to try though. I always feel attached to someone too soon. It would be good to not do that for ones. And then again, it’s not a crime to do that for ones. It’s not like you’re cheating on yourself. I’ve never done something like that before. But still, is that a wrong thing to do? Would I be embarresed… This guy, whom I don’t know for that long, could be that kinda guy. I don’t think I could be into him like that, like really like him. But that’s why I doubt. Isn’t it super wrong to do such thing. He’s not optimistic, he’s insecure about himself, thinks he has got a lot of problems which I not consider as problems but just overreacting issues. He complanes about his problems, that it’s so hard for him and that he’s crumpy and sad lately because of those so called problems. But he refuses to tell me anything about those problems, because it’s a ‘long’ story. Anyways, he always brings up the conversation about what could happen if I came by. That he would want me to come by. Now it’s to awkward to visit him, because I know what’ll happen. Still I don’t understand myself for continue those conversations. I know that when I come over, he’s probably too scared to even try. That’s probably the reason. I want to change myself, into someone who’s not always thinking about every single thing too much. But on the other side, I don’t wanna be used for someones needs. But still, is that wrong? I don’t know. I’m confused a bit.

xx.

me

My first blog on Tumblr. What to say, what to tell.

I’m not sure what people have to expect from me here.
I’ll tell you something about me. I’m 19, almost 20. Working with nice collegues, whom have more appreciation for my presence than my ex-collegues. Love music. Making, listening, learning, inspiration. All by music. I can’t figure a world without music. Especially John Mayer. He’s the one I’m inspired by, who I’d love to learn from. Who makes me think twice about guitar music. He’s like the Jimmi Hendrix of this time, but differently.
I like to make paintings too, although I don’t do that often. Barely.
I hate to get up early. It’s the most difficult time of the day. Especially in wintertime, when the sun rises later than usual. When it’s too cold outside.
When I’m finally outa bed, my time to get ready is as good as over and I have to rush to work. Which I hate.
I have the bad habit to please people, making them like me. I don’t buy them stuff, I don’t always agree with them. But still, I try to be nice all the time. I shouldn’t do that.
My parents are in divorce. I’m okay with that now, kind of.
I’m Dutch. I’m a ginger. With soul though! Don’t worry.
A girl who likes boys too soon and too often.

I’d like to use this to express my worries, my upsides, my downsides. To tell you what’s on my mind.

xx.

me